loss
2010-12-01 @ 14:32:12
When I was just barely old enough to not quite realise -
I lost my great grandma. I went to her wake.
Because I was supposed to see the unscary part of death.
I'm thinking what you're thinking -
what the hell was my mom thinking?
Around 7 years old -
I watched my close friend and neighbour
an old man bleed
almost to death at my doorstep.
I stood with boots in the puddles.
When I was almost 10 years old
I almost lost my mother in a fire
that killed our home and turned it to ash.
A few seconds more and I'd have been an orphan.
I've seen my favorite rabbit torn to shreds,
I've witnessed a cat dying a horrible death in a washingmashine,
I've seen my still not forgotten dog being put down at the veterenarian,
he looked me in the eyes while he was sagging to the floor.
And they said "we gave him enough to kill an elephant"
This is at least 5 years later,
I'm watching my mom smoke herself to an early grave,
I see a close old friend lose pieces of his memory every day,
And I see myself in the mirror-
and sometimes it feels like I don't have an reflection.
Witness one bad thing and there's something to learn,
witness it too early and there's something to lose,
See them too many a time and they'll break you,
See them each and every day - and you stop seing anymore.
This is my lesson for all of you lucky bastards,
this is a true confession,
I've seen so many things I've never forgotten,
I've seen a man whose face is not a face anymore, for such a beating,
I've seen things I'll never tell you I've seen.
I suffer for you who lose something precious,
because you don't know how that feels,
and somewhere I feel luck for you,
cuz if you were to be in my shoes,
you'd some times want to remember what it was to lose.
Because it's life.
(Spain is today a desert island,
for I cannot leave at will.
I would want to be there for you,
I can only hope you're doing good.
As good as you could do.)
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